No matter how careful you are, at some point or another in your life, you’re going to get injured. Be it something as major as breaking a bone or as simple as scraping your knee, these painful mistakes happen!
Of course, some happen in ways that are a heck of a lot funnier than others. While most of us don’t have good stories about our bumps and bruises, that’s not true for everyone out there.
When Reddit posed the question, “What’s the dumbest way you’ve injured yourself?” people were almost too eager to share their embarrassing injuries. Read on to feel better about your own silly accidents…
1. “[I] went to the gym with some friends on my lunch break—they challenged me to do a pushup with a clap behind my back before I landed. Challenge accepted and accomplished. That day after work (while in a suit) I went to my girlfriend’s house and told her about my newfound pushup skills. I tried to re-live the glory, couldn’t reach my hands behind my back to clap because the suit was restricting my motion, and landed chin-first on her hardwood floor.”
“I ended up in the E.R. to get 5 stitches under my chin and at the dentist the next day to fix a chipped molar. Shouts to my E.R. doctor for not judging me too harshly.” The worst part is that it worked the first time, but his girlfriend likely didn’t believe it. What a quiet car ride home that must have been.
2. “As a child I was messing around with the cigarette lighter in the family car, and I just knew once the lighter bit stopped being orange it must have cooled off. It doesn’t. Burnt my thumb twice… slow learner.”
Yeah, once would have been excusable. But twice? Not so much!
3. “One time I tried to fart while playing online poker really late while my girlfriend was asleep. About half of the fart came out before I realized more was on its way out too. I caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom. I had headphones on and yanked my head to the left and pulled my tower over as I kicked a 25-pound weight on the floor, broke my toe and then [pooped] all over myself.”
This one is definitely one of the more embarrassing accidents. At least it happened at home, right?
4. “My friend threw their keys at me, and instead of catching them I leaned back like in The Matrix to avoid the keys, I then proceeded to fall backwards while turning resulting in my face slamming into the wall. And of course this was during the few minutes we had before our gym lesson started. Meaning the whole class saw me fall.”
While it might have hurt, that can’t be the worst move the class saw that day.
5. “I had to cut away some insulation in a hard to reach area so I had the genius idea to tape a razor blade to a stick. Only I didn’t have a stick. All I had was a sawzall blade. I didn’t even make it as far as using the actual contraption. I sliced my hand open trying to duct tape the razor blade to the sawzall blade. Why didn’t I just use the sawzall blade to cut the insulation, you ask? Because I’m an idiot. That’s why.”
Hopefully, that scar has either healed really well… or, at least, it looks really cool.
6. “Climbed a tree when I was about 12, fell out, broke my left arm. A week or so later, my friends dared me to climb the same tree with my left arm in a cast to my elbow. Got a branch higher than the first time, fell out, broke my right arm. Mum wasn’t happy about having to take me back to hospital to get the other arm put in a cast, too!”
The physical pain might have been his, but the financial pain was likely only felt by his mother. No wonder she wasn’t pleased!
7. “When I was a dumb little kid messing around with my friends, I swung a baseball bat so hard that it came back around and clocked me in the back of the head, knocking me out cold for a couple seconds. My genius friends called me ‘Smash’ for years after that.”
You’re really never as flexible as an adult as you were as a kid. That must have been an impressive backbend.
8. “Was laying under my sister’s bed messing around with her nail polish. Just dipping the brush in and out if I remember right. I forgot about gravity though and a drop of the polish went in my eye. I can’t even describe the pain. If I had to try, I’d say it was like getting nail polish in your eye.”
The stinging… the stinging…
9. “I wanted to jump out of bath two legs at once, but got my feet hit the edge. I hit the floor with my face and got concussion as a result of my sheer stupidity. The worst part is that I passed out for a little while and woke up naked.”
There’s nothing like waking up naked, concussed, and freezing cold, right?
10. “I was ironing and wanted to check if the iron was still hot before putting it away. I was in a silly mood and I decided, for reasons which are still unknown to me to this day, to check the temperature of the iron by putting my mouth around the top of it. Ended up burning my bottom lip and tongue pretty bad but no hospital, no permanent damage [and] no chance of my brother (who was also there) ever letting me forget it.”
There’s really no understanding the way some people think!
When you read about all of the goofy, awkward, or just plain embarrassing ways people have injured themselves, it really puts your own dumb injuries into perspective! At least they can laugh at themselves.
Share these hilarious injuries with your friends below!