Not everybody has, or wants to have a very close, friendly relationship with their neighbors. Some people want to be buddies with the people that they live near, while others believe that they best kind of neighbor is the one that you never need to talk to at all.
A bad neighbor, however, can threaten to completely ruin your living situation. How are you supposed to feel comfortable in your own home when you can’t get any peace and quiet?
That’s why these angry residents decided to take matters into their own hands. However, they didn’t want to confront their neighbors directly, so they opted to leave hilariously passive-aggressive notes instead!
1. When you think about it, this almost reads more like a compliment than an insult. Sure, she’s calling the mailbox ugly, but isn’t it more important for the house itself to be beautiful? How bad can that mailbox be?
2. “Um, excuse me, but I, the man singing ‘Smooth’ by Santana featuring Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 from his multiple Grammy Award-winning album Supernatural in the shower, have hearing, and I did not sign off on this note.”
3. “Did I mention that he barks?” “Yes honey, I think you mentioned that.” “What about the fact that he barks?” “Yup.” “Are you sure I said that he barks enough times? I’m very concerned that he won’t get it.”
4. “Why, you’re very welcome, neighbor! I knew you would like it. When my dog left that on the sidewalk, I was about to pick it up, but then I looked at it and realized that it reminded me of your face, so I thought leaving it would be appropriate.”
5. Okay, what exactly is a “pre-warning?” Is that like the warning before the warning? Is this person just warning their neighbor that he’s about to get warned? Because the note read very much like a real warning.
6. Now this nonconfrontational jerk has a choice: either he can take the flamingos out of the ground and risk leaving unsightly holes in his front yard, or he can live with dozens of flamingos for as long as he continues to live there!
7. “Aw, thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. I was looking everywhere for my dog’s poop, but now you’ve found it!” What really sells this passive-aggressive note is the cutesy, childish language (and heart-dotted exclamation points.)
8. “And all the other boys / are trying to chase me / but seriously move your freaking car away from my driveway because I’m already going to be late for work due to your incompetent parking, dummy.”
9. “Ha ha ha, joke’s on you, you jerk!! Now I get to keep all of this free toilet paper! Seriously, these things cost a lot of money, and with my chronic incontinence problem, this stuff is literally a life saver!”
10. Actually, this couple would probably be better off just doing both. Nobody wants to see that! But hey, as long as they’re disturbing their neighbors, there may as well be some nice decoration in the background, right?
11. We all know what this person is implying when referring to those “exorcisms,” right? With that in mind, is it really fair to make them limit it to weekends? Who are they to say when the right time to free each other from demons is?
12. Wouldn’t it be terrible if a passive-aggressive note from an angry neighbor turned out to be the nail in the coffin that finally made this annoying couple go their separate ways? Or maybe it would be great, who knows?
13. Nothing says “you’re actually a loser and a jerk” than a good old-fashioned backhanded compliment! Although, for all we know, this person is actually so obsessed with his speakers that he doesn’t get the subtext here.
14. Let’s face it: as a general rule, vans are almost always creepy. If you own one, that’s probably fine, but don’t freak people out by parking it in front of their home! Is that ever really necessary? Park by your own home!
15. Passive-aggressive notes can be tricky, and possibly even dangerous, so if you’re going to write one, at least do yourself (and your other neighbors) a favor and go through the trouble of directing it at the right person!
16. Ouch…not only was “Zack L” caught red-handed doing unsavory activities using somebody else’s wireless signal, but they actually used his name! It’s going to be difficult for him to find a way out of this situation!
17. “Sure, I may be an unrepentant thief, but at least I’m not so gosh-darned foulmouthed! Who’s the real criminal here, anyway? Me, who consistently takes things that don’t belong to me, or you, who said a mildly naughty word that one time?”
18. “Hmm, I don’t know about this, Marshall. They wrote this note, but the autopsy report suggests that it was… murder! That poor pot. He had so much more to live for! I don’t think we’ll be able to recover from this loss.”
19. “Takes one to know one!?” Who does this? Was this awful neighbor in that much of a hurry to clean their dirty clothes that they couldn’t have waited another 45 minutes? Don’t force yourself to make such close calls!
20. Obviously, there are a few spelling errors at play here, but actually, maybe this woman’s child really did step on a dog fetus! Its unlikely, of course, but it certainly would be a lot more horrifying than dog feces.
21. When someone references Liam Neeson’s character Bryan Mills from the Taken film trilogy and threatens to kill you over your poor behavior as a neighbor, maybe it’s time to make a change your habits.
22. This almost sounds like a dare. Do you think this person would literally go out of his way to do his business on someone else’s porch on a weekly basis, risking getting arrested for public nudity in the process?
23. For those of you who aren’t well versed in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter universe, Hagrid is a half-giant mentor of Harry’s. Obviously, when someone compares you to him, it’s about time that you think about being quieter.
24. One of the weird things about people who steal other people’s packages after they were delivered is that they don’t even necessarily know what it is that they’re stealing. It’s almost like they think it’s a “grab bag” gift exchange!
25. It’s not entirely clear what they’re accusing this person of. Does this person walk around their home naked all the time? Or is this person just so terrible looking that others can’t seem to stand looking at him, period?
All of this passive-aggression may be unpleasant for those receiving the notes, but it certainly is entertaining for the rest of us! Hopefully they teach these bad neighbors a lesson or two!
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