Anyone who has ever reached into the office fridge, only to discover their turkey sandwich has been reduced to crumbs by a ravenous colleague, will certainly attest to the all-consuming rage that inevitably follows.
The stolen lunch is perhaps the most explosive catalyst for an all-out, no-holds-barred war, and it takes place in offices all across the globe. How do victims of this lunchroom crime retaliate? In a variety of complex and creative acts of revenge, actually.
Here’s how nine people dished out justice to their respective office thieves. A forewarning to future food-stealers: after reading through this list, you might never want to look at a coworker’s lunch again, let alone eat it!
1. Coffee creamer switcheroo: One Reddit user found out a coworker had been dipping into her coffee creamer. Since it wasn’t a huge deal at first, she simply labeled the creamer with her name. When that didn’t stop the thief, she took it to the next level by swapping out the creamer with something else…
reddit / phantom0591
2. Pack your own lunch, Debbie! It seems like Debbie had quick fingers when it came to taking office lunches. When labeling lunches didn’t work, someone in the office tried a different approach—labeling who they didn’t belong to.
3. The anthropomorphized mango: Is your fruit going missing from the fridge? Why not letting your tasty mango defend itself? That’s what one office worker did in giving his sweet treat a tool to defend itself. Ain’t no one messing with that mango.
4. True or false: One office worker utilized this simple label to protect his lunch. While the validity of the statement can’t be confirmed, it’s still something sure to give any fridge thief pause. No matter how delicious, eating someone else’s curry is never worth the risk.
5. The threat: This office lunch comes with strings attached—death. Lunch thieves have to decide between stealing something warm and tasty or living a life on the run… or else. That said, the lunch owner should be made aware: never underestimate the desperation of a hungry coworker. You might find that they’ll take the risk.
6. There’s a snake in my fridge: This coworker utilized one of the oldest tricks in the book. Scaring your colleagues with an agonizing death via venomous bite is sure to keep your Tupperware safe.
7. Guilt trip: There’s nothing like a long, drawn-out note to stifle and guilt an office thief. This note beautifully lays out the trouble the victim went to get lunch, whom exactly the thief was hurting with his or her antics, and then it packs a wallop in the last line by informing the thief they might have made a massive dietary mistake…
8. The fine print: They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and in this office, the saying holds true for candy corn. The fine print at the bottom of the sign informs candy eaters that they’ve signed up for the candy overeaters club: an exorbitantly expensive club with perks such as a one-time-only free serving of candy corn.
9. Crime scene investigations: Somebody call in the CSI squad, because this person’s lunch has been murdered by a hungry thief! With a little stage decoration and theatrics, the office theft has been made into a murder mystery, which carries a sentence of some really nasty looks and a barring from the communal fridge.
When your lunch keeps going missing, there’s only one thing you can do: fight back. As a business professional and lunch-eating citizen of the world, it’s your responsibility to make sure that there is, indeed, no such thing as a free lunch—even if you have to get a little dirty!
Sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is just a little bit of creativity. If you’ve ever had to deal with an office thief, you might benefit from these inspirational revenge stories!
Share these office lunch thieves with your friends!