20 Hard-To-Believe Confessions From An Ex-Royal Protection Officer

You’d probably expect anyone tasked with serving Britain’s most famous family to be a law-abiding, upstanding member of society. Especially if that person is a cop based at Buckingham Palace. But according to former Metropolitan Policeman Paul Page, the world of royal protection officers is a hive of illicit activity. So here’s a look at 20 revelations that emerged either in Page’s court case for fraud or in Michael Gillard’s eye-opening 2015 book For Queen and Currency.

20. They gave each other nicknames

It appears you had to have a schoolboy sense of humor to work in royal protection. From the Metropolitan Police’s own confession papers, Page stated that officers would often give each other unflattering nicknames. One was dubbed “Doug the Slug” due to his rather slobby nature. Another was labeled “Gripper” in honor of the same-named bully from children’s TV drama Grange Hill.

19. The royals got nicknames, too

Members of the royal family weren’t immune from the odd disrespectful nickname, either. Page revealed that officers back in the 1990s used to give Prince Andrew a particularly uncomplimentary moniker. But the Queen and her husband Prince Philip were known as the more innocuous “Purple One” and “Phil the Greek,” respectively.

18. They helped their friends get jobs

As the saying goes, it’s not what you know, but who you know. According to Page, officers would often help their pals in the police force to join them for what’s considered a much easier job. How, you may ask? Well, they simply provide them with the questions that they’re likely to be asked during the interview stage.

17. The entry test is easy

Apparently the protection officer entry test is so simple that anyone with a few brain cells to rub together should be able to pass it. “Is it ever okay to read a book while guarding the gate to the Queen’s private quarters?” is apparently one of the puzzlers. Candidates are also asked to identify certain royal family members during the process.