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Hilarious New Year’s Resolutions To Start 2023 With A Bang

While most people at the end of each year proclaim that the next 12 months will be an opportunity for a "New Year, New Me," we know it's mostly just words. So instead of finding inspirational resolutions for 2023, we’ve scoured the depths of the internet for the funniest New Year’s resolutions. Whatever goals you’re shooting for this year, these hilarious declarations are the perfect reminder to not take yourself too seriously...

No train, no gain

“I am really unfit. Running for a train has almost done me in. A New Year's resolution of never running again I reckon.” — Seasons Tweetings on Twitter

Well, that would certainly be a lot cheaper than joining a gym and starting to eat healthily...

Make vuvuzela great again

“My #NewYearsResolution is to bring the vuvuzela back.” — Brad Stieber on Twitter

“100% here for this. Every situation could be better with a vuvuzela. Conference calls, funerals, waiting to board a plane, at a bar.” — Ben van Maanen on Twitter

Potty mouth to perfection

“Don’t expect any New Year’s resolutions from me. I intend on staying the same awkward, sarcastic, foul-mouthed delight you all know and love.” — via Twitter

They do say to make your resolutions realistic and achievable — and what better way of doing this than to keep being true to yourself?

Lonely hearts of the world unite

“#NewYearsResolution Increase my relationship status from Forever Alone to Slightly Desperate.” — The Official Dude on Twitter

Because nothing is going to find you love in the New Year more than the lingering stench of desperation... slight or otherwise.