The more you learn about the Middle Ages, the luckier you’ll feel to be alive in the modern era. Yes, there were castles, knights, and very cool weaponry, but you were ruled by royalty who were put in place by “the grace of God,” so no matter how mentally unstable and cruel they may have been, they couldn’t be removed from office!
Teachers today often skip over the more gruesome details that were in store for basically every European citizen at the time. If you’re eating something, finish it now, because we’re about to bring you 20 of the weirdest — and grossest — facts about the Middle Ages you probably didn’t learn about in school.
One of the many diseases that ravaged Europeans was the King’s Evil, a kind of tuberculosis that appeared in the form of oozing black sores on someone’s neck. Until the 1700s, it was believed the only cure was the touch of a royal’s hand. That wasn’t an effective treatment.
Photo by Horacio Villalobos – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images
Right before the Bubonic plague swept through Europe, a pope had warned that witches were using cats for magic, and so, a bunch of jerks killed all the cats. Because of their cruelty, flea-ridden rats quite effectively spread the illness across the continent.
Pope Stephen VI really hated Pope Formosus. In 897, Stephen dug up Formosus’ body, put it on trial, found it guilty, and then cut off his index and middle finger, reburied him, and then retrieved the body from the fresh grave and threw it in the Tiber river. Can you imagine being there for that? What a wild ride.
Need a break from the pressures of medieval life? Party at the cemetery. These served as early townhalls and hosted events like elections, public trials, and even theatrical groups. Sex workers even frequented the area.
Photo by Horacio Villalobos – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images
For about 18 months, King Henry VI was in a catatonic state, and no one knows why. After waking up, he became much more agreeable, though sometimes he had trouble recognizing his staff members. No one’s perfect.
CITY OF LONDON CORPORATION
Besides the plague, there was also a terrible famine in the 14th century. From 1315 – 1317, three excessively wet summers ruined the crops in farmer’s fields, and at least 10% of Europe’s population starved to death.
For some reason, people wanted to be remembered as putrid, decaying corpses. If someone’s family had enough money, they would pay for an effigy of the dead person, which showed them as a rotting body. These medieval aesthetics … just no.
scholagladiatoria / YouTube
People thought those suffering from mental health disorders were possessed by demons, immoral, or terrible sinners. They “solved” these problems with exorcisms, whipping, drilling a hole in someone’s head to release the evil energies. No, these didn’t work either.
Photo by Leemage/Corbis via Getty Images
Something surprising: medieval Europeans didn’t throw their chamber pot contents into the streets. Instead, they used latrines or local bodies of water. We’re not sure how modern researchers discovered this, but stay out of River Thames.
Photo by Horacio Villalobos – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images
Religion and government were heavily mixed at the time, so most Europeans had major hang-ups around sex. Experiencing sexual pleasure was a death sentence, so when Francesca Romana was forced to marry, she burned her genitals with boiling fat to take away any sensation.
Photo by Fototeca Gilardi/Getty Images
Europeans were fond of cruentation — the idea that a victim’s body would spontaneously reveal who their slayer was. But this wasn’t at all real. Cruentation was ‘used’ until the late 1600s during trials, until medical researchers proved that this was an impossible system for justice.
In 1212, some genius had the idea to do a Children’s Crusade — gathering children to try to convert Muslims to Christians instead. These child warriors made it to Italy before being betrayed by shop owners and sold into slavery.
Photo by The Print Collector via Getty Images
During the Battle of Hastings, the Normans were concerned with their field position and sent out a juggler to entice the Saxons to attack them. This worked. The Saxons had the high ground, but lost this advantage and the entire battle, because they attacked the juggler.
Photo by Horacio Villalobos – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images
This is something straight out of Game of Thrones: King Edward III needed more soldiers to defeat the French army, so he and his team went around to prisons and sketchy areas to collect fighters. These were some violent people, but they got the job done.
This is one of the nastiest facts out there — fair warning. Saints were supposed to have healing powers. They licked wounds. They. Licked. Wounds. Sometimes they reported swallowing scabs or sucking out maggots. Shudder.
If there’s one thing medieval Europeans loved, it was torture. One method was the Judas Cradle, right, which was a giant triangular spike a prisoner would sit on — the point only had one place to go. The Spanish Donkey used a similar method.
Photo by Juan Naharro Gimenez/Getty Images
Another method used for torture was drawing and quartering: dragging the victim behind a horse, hanging them until they were nearly dead, disemboweling the person, and finally cutting or putting them in four.
The Ever Learner blog
And let’s not forget the choke pear. A torturer would insert this into their victim’s orifice (dealer’s choice) and then expand it. We’re guessing the choke pear wasn’t sanitized after being used. People died afterward, so that probably wasn’t the top priority.
There was also the Iron Chair. This is what it sounds like — an iron chair. The chair had sharp metal spikes that a prisoner sat on. They’d live through this, but when they stood up, the spike popped out, and their blood quickly followed.
If you were going to be punished, hope for this. Occasionally, the guilty would have to wear a weird animal mask around town, or sometimes had to wear a special sign with their crime on it for the rest of their life.
Castles were smelly. With a general lack of running water and extreme difficulty in obtaining it, most servants and other lower-class residents couldn’t clean themselves. And the types of toilets they used definitely didn’t help.
Toilets weren’t fancy. When you needed to go, you’d likely have to do it on a wooden bench with a little hole in it. Your waste would fall into a vast poo pit or straight into a moat. Outside the bathroom, life wasn’t much better.
When you were using this gross, dirty toilet, you probably wouldn’t have any privacy either. Castle makers followed the HGTV network’s sage advice and went with an open floor-plan. Unless you were a noble, you probably didn’t have a room to call your own.
Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images
Generally, more than 100 people would live in a castle, meaning you’d never feel alone. There was so much square footage that needed to be maintained, so royalty required an enormous staff for upkeep.
The Paston Treasure, unknown artist, Dutch School
The high-ranking officials were responsible for managing the politics and land protection and delegated all cleaning and cooking work to their staff. Anyone who lived in the castle had some kind of job, even the royals.
Hans / Flickr
There were five different types of careers in a medieval establishment: if you were upper-class, you could choose nobility, the clergy, or just being a royal. Lower classes were merchants, craft-makers, and laborers. Who do you think had to rise with the sun?
It was critical that people in castles started their day with the sun because so little of it found its way inside the walls. This meant all the indoor servants had a small window of time to get their work done.
Castle life may have been lousy, but at least there was always liquor around. Water was still teeming with bacteria and other waste, making it dangerous to safely consume. So, people got drunk for their health, in a way.
Photo by POOL/ Tim Graham Picture Library/Getty Images
A big part of castle life revolved around preparing for feasts and parties. These were a massive to-do and it took the entire staff working diligently to properly prepare for them. The lame part? Servants wouldn’t even get to eat the fancy food they were making.
In the dining hall, people sat based on their royal status. The king and queen would sit at the head, while the rest of their court filed in around them. They were also served the food first, which might have been cold by the time they got to eat it.
Within the filth, you could attend church. Even though your body wasn’t clean, your spirit was, we guess. If religion was your thing, you wouldn’t have to leave the compound to worship. Still, you should probably bring something to cover your nose.
If you have musophobia, stay out of medieval-era castles. They were filled with rats because warmth, food (any kind of food), and open water sources are only a few of the many things that draw rats inside. Castles really are the perfect ratly environment.
And like everything else in a castle, floors were extremely dirty. Cats and dogs were given free reign and used the space as a massive toilet. To cover this smell, servants threw fragrant herbs on the ground. It was a crunchy, poopy mess. Getting clean was tough.
If someone wanted to take a bath, it would be in a portable wooden tub. The tub would be moved from one room to the next for people to use. Was there privacy? No. Was it hygienic? Also no. But, it was available.
Not that there was a ton of opportunity in all that open space, but you weren’t allowed to copulate with your spouse unless you were planning for a child. Even admitting to having sexual thoughts about them was a sin and could be punished.
Torturing prisoners wasn’t just something created to spice up TV shows. Whenever a ruler was feeling feisty, they could order prisoners who were in the dungeons to be terribly punished.
Many prisoners were captured due to conflicting political beliefs, making this treatment even more heinous. One particular method involved capturing rats in a basket, tying it to a helplessly bound person, and then letting the rats eat their way out. Fun!
There’s a reason castles are known for fireplaces — they were dark, cold structures. The windows were high and narrow, to help defend the castle against archers and the stone walls themselves didn’t hold heat. So, bundle up if you’re planning to sleep over in one.
To add to this, kitchens commonly caught on fire. For some reason, they were made of wood and the food was being cooked over huge flames. You do the math. Eventually builders changed to stone.
Photo by English Heritage/Heritage Images/Getty Images
Stairways in castles were always clockwise. This helped defend against right-handed swordsmen who would have their blows blocked by the stone walls. Defenders in the castle had the advantage.
Today’s castles might be museums or houses for royalty, but when the original medieval castles were built, they were designed to serve as fortresses during times of war. All of the planning that went into them was about defending the grounds from enemies.
When you think of a castle’s first line of defense, you probably imagine a moat, right? Traditionally, a moat was a large body of water that circled the castle and separated it from the land. But it wasn’t there to keep enemies from crossing…
For people designing most castles, their biggest fear was that their enemies might dig underneath the walls to gain entry. If there was a moat, it ensured that any tunnels would be immediately flooded.
In fact, for some castles, the moat wasn’t even located outside the place at all! Instead, it could be found between the first and second walls of the castle. That way, anyone digging a tunnel would get a truly unpleasant surprise…
Speaking of unpleasant surprises, moats didn’t exist solely to keep invaders from digging tunnels to gain entry, either. The moats served other purposes for those living in the castle. For instance, they made for a great way to dispose of human waste.
When it came to other methods of protecting the castle, one of the oldest traditions in design was the concentric circles of defense. Looking at this castle from above, you can see how the circles were created to make entry very difficult.
Concentric circles of defense were designed to act as a series of obstacles. While the layout of medieval castles might be all too familiar to us when it comes to how we look at castles today, they were a true innovation in the world of design when they were originally built.
The concentric circles of defense meant that invading armies would have to conquer one obstacle after another, slowing them down as they made their assault on the castle. First there was a wall, then there was a moat, then another wall, a keep, and so forth…
The main gate of the castle might look imposing, but to our modern eyes that’s all it is. The truth of the matter is that, during medieval times, the main gate of the castle was more than intimidating; it was downright deadly!
The main gate was often comprised of two barriers. If invaders made it past the first entryway, they could become trapped between the first and the second gate by the castle’s inhabitants. They might think that their siege was going to be successful, but they were wrong.
The invading soldiers would then be trapped in one of the castle courtyards, and this wasn’t pleasant to say the least. There were thin slits in the courtyard walls that allowed the castle inhabitants to fire upon the trapped intruders.
Secret passages were a critical part of the design of any and every castle that was built. These passages could serve many different purposes, including allowing a means of escape for those who lived in the castle.
These secret passages could also lead to rooms where the castle’s inhabitants could take shelter. In the event of a siege, they could also serve as a great way of getting much-needed supplies and other assistance into the castle.
Sometimes the secret passages led to secondary wells for the castle’s inhabitants in case the attackers breached their walls of defense and poisoned their drinking supplies. Castles may be glamorous, but they were also critical war fortresses.
Toothpaste wasn’t invented until later, so Victorian Brits used homemade “Dentifrices” instead. Some of these included ingredients like chalk and bleach, and one particularly popular solution was made of charcoal and honey — yuck!
We know now that arsenic is a dangerous poison, but back in the Victorian Era, it had a completely different use. Men used it as a sexual stimulant, and women used it to prevent wrinkles.
Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Mourning was taken very seriously in Victorian England. Mourners would often wear jewelry that included hair from the deceased, and special bottles were used to collect tears. They weren’t messing around!
Raw meat: good for all purposes! Well, that’s what Victorian Brits thought after reading a popular beauty column that advertised laying strips of raw beef on your face at night to improve your complexion. Needless to say, don’t try this at home.
With the Industrial Revolution came a number of… strange uses for the newfound technology. Doctors started using electricity as a form of “shock therapy,” basically hoping to zap ailments like gout and arthritis out of patients. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
The River Thames may be beautiful to look at now, but back in the 1800s it was so full of sewage that the smell was often sickening. This was obviously a major issue, as the river was also Londoners’ main source of drinking water.
Flickr / Elliott Brown
Before child labor laws were a thing, some kids were forced to work long hours in terrible conditions as chimney sweeps or textile mill operators. Thankfully, the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children was formed in 1891, and children were granted some protections.
Hemophilia was well known for a long time as “the royal disease” because it ravaged several royal families across Europe. Queen Victoria herself was actually the first to carry it in the British royal family, passing it down for generations to come.
If electricity wasn’t your thing, Victorian doctors had another form of therapy you could try: water! So-called “hydrotherapy” was used to treat everything from baldness in men to “hysteria” in women.
Food trucks aren’t just a modern invention; in Victorian Britain, street vendors were everywhere. The most popular choice of the era? Sheep’s feet. Customers would buy these “trotters” and then suck the meat and fat right off the bone. Yuck.
Clean water wasn’t always so easy to come by in Victorian England. In fact, many people would just avoid the risk of drinking it altogether and settle for the next best thing: beer. You know what, maybe Victorian England wasn’t so bad after all.
Don’t underestimate them; Victorian Brits rocked pretty hard. After the Prince of Wales spotted some killer tattoos on a trip to Jerusalem, he kickstarted a trend back in England and pretty soon almost 100,000 Brits had gotten inked.
Here’s a hobby that we don’t need making a comeback: taxidermy. A popular pasttime in Victorian England was stuffing dead animals and rearranging them into little “scenes.” Some say cute — we say creepy.
For decades, London was known for its thick, pungent fog that blanketed the entire city. The fog was a byproduct of all the new factories, coal pollution, and sewage dumped into the Thames. Until the Clean Air Act was passed in 1956, thousands died from inhaling the stuff.
Makeup may be commonplace now, but a few hundred years ago it was usually considered tacky. Instead, women would pinch their cheeks or apply cold cream to get the desired effects. Seems like a lot of work for a little payoff.
Ever wondered why museums dedicate so much space to the Ancient Egyptians? We’ve got Victorian Brits to thank for that. Egyptology became a huge hit in the 1800s, and people would flock to museums to see the latest mummies and artifacts.
Victorians were also to thank for hobbies like hypnotism and divination. Bored victorians would flock to any event where someone would perform hypnosis, speak to the dead, or read palms. No surprises here: a lot of these “mystics” were just hucksters making a quick buck.
Surgery wasn’t widely available in the Victorian Era, but for those ailments where it was an option, it was a horrifying one. Because anesthesia and painkillers weren’t around, patients would have to be awake and fully conscious for the procedures.
Holy smokes, were Victorian Brits bored or what? A popular parlor game in the Victorian era was “Snapdragon,” in which people would try and fish raisins out of a flaming bowl and eat them while they burned.
Angel Meadow: sounds like a nice place, right? In reality, the residents of this Manchester slum weren’t too fond of living there, and it got the nickname “hell on earth” because conditions were so terrible.
London Metropolitan Archives
Though keeping oneself clean is common practice in our day, hygiene was a somewhat controversial topic in the 18th century. Some doctors actually advocated against bathing regularly, as they believed the body’s oils were essential to good health.
Fine Art America
Religion and cleanliness also went hand in hand, as filth and dirt were often equated with sin and the devil. Morality came into play as well, as those who were clean were looked at as less likely to commit wrongdoings.
While most rinsed their hands and faces each morning, full-body baths were uncommon among most men, women, and children. Infants, however, were bathed regularly, though this was more so in an effort to “harden” them than to clean them.
In some cases, women actually preferred not to bathe and used their uncleanliness as a means of self defense. Using their body odor, they hoped to repel the unwanted advances of overly persistent men.
Another deterrent to bathing was the size of most wash basins, as only the extraordinarily wealthy could afford bathtubs large enough to hold an adult. Freshwater bodies like lakes served as basins of a sort for lower-class men, yet soap was rarely brought along.
Ole Houen / Flickr
This was because lye soap — made from a mixture of animal fat, lye, and ash — was difficult to make and incredibly harsh on skin. Instead, this soap was used to wash clothing and dishes.
Real World Survivor
Yet not all clothes were washed equally, as the process of drawing water, heating it, cleaning the clothes, and wringing them out to dry was a strenuous one. Therefore, only the dirtiest clothes — aprons, underwear, diapers, and the like — were cleaned.
Unfortunately, this meant that most blankets and bedsheets went unwashed, leading to frequent bug infestations. Fleas, cockroaches, and mosquitos were prevalent, and some even resorted to sleeping beside campfires to keep the bugs at bay.
Riekes Nature Awareness
Lice were also a frequent nuisance, especially when it came to the powdered wigs that most upper-class colonists wore. Despite most men and women shaving their heads to prevent the bugs from nesting, their wigs served as the perfect place for lice to settle in.
Washing the wigs did little to rid them of infestation, leading colonists to coat them in bergamot, bay leaves, and other repellents to keep the bugs away. Unfortunately, the rich pomades used to style the wigs only served as a magnet for hungry lice.
Roy and Dolores Kelley / Flickr
George Washington wrote often about his experiences with such “vermin” and mandated that soldiers wash their shirts weekly and their hands and face daily during wartime. Close-quarter camps served as breeding grounds for parasites and disease, especially the deadly smallpox.
To keep camps in order, “camp followers” traveled alongside the military and tended to their sanitary needs. These individuals — who were mostly women and slaves — ensured that the soldiers’ meals were properly prepared and washed their uniforms as needed.
Drifting Focus Photography
When a man needed a shave he visited a barber, who was typically a highly skilled man of color. Women, on the other hand, didn’t shave at all, as common conventions dictated that they show very little skin.
For those women that did seek to remove hair, plucking was a standard option (Eyebrows won’t tweeze themselves!). Eighteenth-century medical journals suggest that depilatory creams — some of which utilized limestone and arsenic — were also used.
Dental care was also somewhat of a mismanaged science, as most people had little concern for the health of their mouth. When toothaches did arise, remedies like chamomile, alcohol, and opium were used to dull the pain.
Cup & Leaf
In most cases an extraction was required, though taking a trip to the dentist wasn’t an option back then. Instead, sufferers visited their local surgeon, apothecary, barber, or even blacksmith to have a tooth pulled.
For those that were conscious of their oral health, metal tooth pickers were available for purchase. Unfortunately, these instruments were also used for a variety of other unsavory tasks, including picking the nails and scooping wax from the ears.
On another level of unsavory, outhouses — or, more specifically, covered holes in the ground — served as bathrooms for most colonists. Chamberpots were also used, their contents simply dumped out the window once full.
Not only were these practices unsanitary, but they also posed serious health risks. Feces and other contaminants would typically seep into the groundwater or runoff into streams and lakes, leading to high levels of contamination.
This, perhaps, is why disease was so widespread within the colonies. Cholera, typhoid fever, and influenza were extremely prevalent, and dysentery — commonly known as the “bloody flux” — ravaged the population.
Believe it or not, health practices back in Medieval times were actually much worse than these. During this time, heating water for a single bath took so long that families would actually share used bathwater. Let’s hope they only shared their baths with other people…
Baldness Cures: Balding men of the Renaissance were convinced that rubbing a combination of chicken poop and potassium on their heads would help their hair grow back. Did it work? Judging by what Shakespeare looked like in his later years, the answer is a resounding “no”.
Internet Archive Book Images / Flickr
Cough Remedies: Have a tickle in your throat? Doctors once believed that combining one pound of slimy snails and one pound of sugar would create a syrup perfect for coating the throat and curing coughs. Just make sure they don’t get on your face…
Contraception: Ancient Egyptian women once used crocodile dung as birth control. Molding the dung into the form of a pessary, they believed that the excrement was thick enough to prevent pregnancy.
Makeup: When paleness was once seen as the ideal skin tone, chalk became the primary means of whiting the face. Not only did women smear chalk powder on their face, but they also ate it as well, making them so sick that they’d turn pale as a result.
Feminine Products: The invention of tampons and most feminine products are relatively modern, so women of the past had to make do with whatever they had lying around. That included clumps of moss, torn right out of the forest floor!
Dental Health: During the Elizabethan era, sugar was only available to the upper echelon of society. Therefore, sugar-rotted teeth were considered a symbol of wealth, and peasants would even go as far as faking the disease just to look richer.
Birth Control: Before the days of pills and injections, women drank all kinds of concoctions to prevent pregnancy. The grossest of them all was a tea from Canada made entirely from the genitals of male beavers.
Fashion: Why buy another outfit when the one you’re wearing fits just fine? This was the logic of many families before the 19th century when most people had an average of four pairs of clothing to their name—one for each season.
Dentures: Back before false teeth were invented, those looking for a new set of pearly whites had to get them from the only people willing to give them up: the dead. In fact, many dentures during the time were constructed from the teeth of dead soldiers.
Flowers: These petaled beauties certainly aren’t gross, but some of the things they were once used for definitely are. In the times where people didn’t bathe much, flowers were always kept on hand to mask the stench of body odor.
Clemens v. Vogelsang / Flickr
Medicine: In the days before their deaths, 16th-century Arabic men ate nothing but honey and were then buried in coffins full of honey after passing. The corpse was dug up several weeks later and pieces of the body were eaten as a miracle cure.
Laundry Day: Before we had OxiClean and Tide, we had urine, which is sterile and contains ammonia. Not only did people once wash their clothes with urine, but they also used it as mouthwash, too.
Jays Thought Stream
Labor Aides: No epidurals here, just more animal dung. During labor, Medieval women were given eagle poop mixed with oil and vinegar in order to ease the pain of childbirth.
Surgery: Germs weren’t a thing until the mid-1800s, so none of the surgical equipment used by doctors before then was ever sterilized. Maybe getting a checkup back then wasn’t such a good idea after all…
Dental Hygiene: Toothpaste is another modern invention, and in the days before straight baking soda was introduced as a dental hygiene product, people would often use burnt herbs like rosemary and mint to brush their teeth. That’s better than the Romans, who reportedly brushed their teeth with mouse brains.
Dieting: Why watch your diet when you can eat anything you want and not gain a pound? That was the pitch by quack doctors of the early 20th century when they pushed tapeworms as weight-loss supplements.
Toilet Paper: Just kidding! There wasn’t any. That’s why when nature came calling, people would use things like leaves, rags, a wet cloth on a stick, or even their own hand to get the job done.
Huong Chi / Flickr
Feminine Hygiene: You’ve heard of Lysol as a kitchen cleaner, but Lysol as a feminine product? Before it found its way under every kitchen sink in America, Lysol was initially marketed as a way to “keep women fresh”.
Cleaning Solutions: Forget everything you know about mopping the floor because ancient Egyptians once used the powdered remains of mummies to clean their homes. They also used the powder as a cure-all, rubbing it on their skin and ingesting it in large doses.
Diaries kept by a passionate Roman foodie name Apicius detailed some of the utterly bonkers recipes that were considered the best eats across the Empire. It reads more like magic potion ingredients than a cookbook.
There were meals that sounded particularly witchy, like spayed sow’s womb, paunch of a suckling pig, and stuffed dormouse casserole. But the Romans experimented with eating pretty much any animal you can think of: parrots, peacocks, dolphins, and giraffes.
Flickr / Sharmzpad
On recovered Roman shipwrecks, archaeologists found jars of a popular condiment called garum. This sun-fermented fish sauce was often sopped up with bread but was also loaded with parasitic tapeworm eggs. No thanks!
Hakai Magazine / Alastair Bland
Etiquette standards were nonexistent in Ancient Rome. Dinner party guests simply disposed of their cleaned animal bones by tossing them willy nilly onto the floor. Later, slaves were ordered to clean the mulch of food scraps that had collected.
Since sitting down for lunch was gambling with parasites and bacteria, it follows suit that Roman medicinal practices were not even close to as sterile as contemporary medicine. Animal and human excrement were used topically and orally for cures and holistic treatments.
Wikicommons / Giorgio Sommer / Naples National Archaeological Museum
Roman medicine shifted the medical standard from largely supernatural to focused on balancing the four humors of the body: blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Bloodletting was popular just for the heck of restoring equilibrium.
Newswise / University of Michigan / Robert A. Thom
Studying fossilized Roman fecal matter revealed a wide variety of infections and parasites commonly borne out of poor hygiene and sanitary conditions, dysentery and roundworm among them, which experts say has something to do with a common farming practice of the time.
Newsweek / Wikicommons
The filthiness of human waste just wasn’t a blip on ancient Roman radar. They viewed excrement as a natural resource, spreading it as fertilizer for crops, fulfilling a toxic and nightmarish cycle when they tucked in to eat their yield.
Flickr / Nedra
Urine proved useful as laundry detergent. It was the job of a fuller to leave out and collect jugs of urine on the street to wash clothes in it since the ammonia worked to remove stains.
Toilet paper shortages were a non-issue back in Ancient Rome. To clean their keisters, they reached for a sponge on a stick called a xylospongium. Bathrooms consisted of a bench with holes, reminiscent of an outhouse.
Must Do New Zealand
There’s an obvious red flag to this scenario. A sponge on a stick probably worked well enough, sure. Until you factor in the fact that xylospongium were shared amongst many people, and who can say if they were cleaned.
Wikicommons / D. Herdemerten
Nobody gave ancient Romans the memo that public nudity was lewd. They treated stone walls of public spaces like personal Craigslist ads. People carved out sexually explicit images and propositions as jokes, and also because they was supposed to boost virility.
Telegraph / Allstar / Cinetext / Python
On an ethical note, many Roman practices were indisputably messed up. Marriage, for example, was forced on girls as young as 12 years old, and that was the age restriction imposed by law.
Art Net / Emilio Vasarri
Of course, it wasn’t much easier for Roman boys. The raucous lifestyles of emperors are fairly well known, and the grim tone of their parties revolved around using minors as their sexual tools.
Rome / HBO
Charges of incest reached all the way to the top, most famously with Emperor Caligula. He was accused of having affairs with several of his sisters, and later publicly claimed his mother Agrippina was born of an incestuous relationship.
Game of Thrones / HBO
Committing a crime in ancient Rome was risking the most gruesome punishment imaginable. Their torture was creative — they fed the guilty to wild animals and buried alive disgraced Vestal Virgins — but the worst was saved for people who committed the most heinous acts.
Wikicommons / Antoine Wiertz
Sinister minds developed what they felt was an appropriate punishment for people who murdered their fathers, which involved putting the convicted in a bag with a reactive animal like a snake, rooster, or monkey, and tossing them into the Tiber River.
Gladiator / Scott Free Productions
Life for the average ancient Roman was regularly anticipating brutality. No one was safe from the wrath of the soldiers conquering cities; innocent civilians, women, and children — all were slaughtered by the thousands. Entire cities burned to ash.
While they definitely took a major leap forward with public health initiatives like aqueducts and bathhouses, none of these would pass the most lenient of health inspections. The olive oil they slathered on every bather, as well as their dead skin scrapers, were perpetually reused.
The Bird Bath
After thousands of years of modernization, development, and societal growth, we still had miles to go in terms of proper hygiene. Looking back at the health habits of the American colonists, it’s shocking how much cleanliness standards changed in only a few hundred years.
YouTube / The Crucible / Twentieth Century Fox