Austin Butler once told Cosmopolitan, "How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person." And if these stories from New York City doormen tell you anything, it's that they see and hear everything. They've witnessed the good, the bad, and the ugly side of life, and they probably know their clients better than they know themselves. So if you've got a dirty little secret, keep the doorman on side!
The doorman/private eye
"I’m a doorman in Manhattan. There’s this family that has multiple homes and on top of that, they’re on a lot of business trips. The wife suspected her husband of cheating, so she offered me “money that will change your life” if I said yes to ever seeing her husband bring home other women. I definitely wasn’t going to ruin anyone’s marriage."
"I’m going to be honest, doormen have seen it all, so I doubt they’re judging you based on you coming home drunk. They’re judging mostly on two things: 1) how friendly you are, and 2) how good your holiday card stacks up." — Michaelanthony87 on Reddit
An unwanted guest
"I was a doorman in NYC for a building full of wealthy people. To live in the building, you had to have a minimum of $50 million in the bank. One day, a guy I never saw before came in. I stopped him, but my manager told me to let him in. After the guy goes upstairs, the manager tells me, 'He’s the son of 25C. He comes over when his parents aren't home to sleep with [women] in their bed.'"
"[Later], another tenant from the building sees him and says, 'Your parents aren’t here, so what’re you doing here?' Then [he] takes off running. I open the door and let them out. I see them run two blocks before they disappeared." — David_Jets on Reddit
The walks of shame
"I have discovered some potentially scandalous trysts and activities at most of the buildings I've worked at. I think once you've logged enough hours while motionless at a desk, you begin to pick up on the people who you see day in and day out's mannerisms. (Even if they ignore you, the working class shmoe.)"
"For example, I discovered this man (a married father of two) was having an affair with another woman. The next month, I found out his wife was also seeing someone on the side. Of course, one-night stands are always amusing, especially since I get to see either the beginning or final legs of the walk of shame." — Fried_Rich_Niche_Eh on Reddit
A regular to Saturday Night Live after-parties
“[Saturday Night Live head honcho Lorne Michaels] gave me 25 years of Saturday Night Live after-parties. After my shift, I’d go up there, or I’d take the day off, go to the show, and then to the after-party. They would give me six tickets to take my mom and other family members.”
“So one day, the driver asks me: ‘How did you get six tickets? I’ve been driving the guy for 38 years and only got two!’ I’ll tell you why, 'cause nothing ever happens when I’m at the door, that’s why.” — Frank Smith, told to West Side Rag