People Took To The Internet To Share Their Juiciest Stories Of Vengeance

"My ex got another woman pregnant while we were together. I dumped him, but for several months, whenever I went shopping and a store asked for an email address for marketing emails, I gave them his. I never spoke to him again, but I really hope all of those Old Navy ads came in handy."

—jesscanteven, BuzzFeed

Sometimes the greatest revenge is the pettiest revenge. And we're not afraid to admit it. We've carried out an act of public service and rounded up the very best revenge stories the internet has to offer. You're welcome. So, here's to not turning the other cheek!

Revenge is a dish best served wet

“Years ago I was in a cinema with some friends watching a horror film, can't remember which one. Anyway a couple of [people] behind us thought it was really funny to yell 'Boo!" in the tense parts and generally ruin the movie for everyone around them. I had a large, and by large I mean bucket, of coke.

The next time [one of them] yells "Boo!" I throw up my hands in shock and dump the whole bucket of coke in his lap. I turned round to apologize and saw him sitting there stunned and soaked, coke dripping off the brim of his cap. I nearly gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh. I swear he made squelching noises as he walked out.....(wipes a little laughter tear from eyes).”

How to school a cheating classmate

“During my Freshman year of high school I was in a biology class that was made up of mainly juniors. This one guy, who sat next to me, would always be a jerk to me during class. I always did well on the tests so he would always look over and copy the answers from my scantron. I'm pretty sure he didn't realize that I knew he was cheating off of me.

Well one day I got fed up with this guy messing with me and cheating off of me. So the next test comes around and sure enough he starts copying my answers. I finish the test and so does he. He gets up and turns his test in and comes back to his seat. I looked him in the eyes and proceeded to erase my entire scantron. I then retook the test, this time marking the correct answers. The look of panic in his eyes was so satisfying. He ended up making a 2% on that test and never cheated off me again.

Grocery store pettiness

“I'm a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily. Every Wednesday is senior discount day. You have to be 55-60+ to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don't want to deal with the seniors. I don't generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes.

This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, "There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I'm going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don't seem to have the initiative to request that yourself." Off to a great start, lady. She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. "I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here." We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer. ONE. I say "No problem, but I'll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here." She has a HUGE hissy fit. "I don't have time for this. Let's GO."

As I'm checking her out, it is constant [complaining]. "You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don't even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip." "Please don't put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread." "Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I'm in a magazine." She was unbelievable. Finally, at the end, I had enough.

As she's about to pay, I say, "Don't forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!" She just stared at me. "What?" I smiled broadly. "Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I'll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?" She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red. I lose my smile slowly and say ‘Oh, you don't qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.’

I haven't seen her in the store since.


Red, red wine

“Last month, my brother got married to the woman he has spent the last 7 years of his life with. My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman and I am more than happy for the two of them. Well, my mother being the venomous demon she is decided that one of the most important days in her oldest child's life MUST be made about her in some way. She showed up in an incredibly frilly white bridal dress. Her dress was much more of a bridal dress than the brides that day as well. She was the talk of the whole event, for all the wrong reasons I mind you.

My brother didn't even know if she would show up after a previous meltdown of hers, but he didn't even know what to do when he walked down the aisle to see her sitting in the front row. My SIL looked livid as well when she saw her.

At the lunch afterward, things only got worse and I knew my mother was going to ruin this day. So, I decided to take one for the team. We were served glasses of red wine at lunch, and I asked for mine to be filled to the brim. I walked over to where my mother was sitting and "tripped," dousing her perfect white dress.

I nearly got on my knees groveling to apologize and she missed the lunch and much of the first half of the reception driving back home (4 hour round trip) to change into the dress my brother had originally bought for her. Lucky for me, no one cared but my mother. The maid of honor even ended up slipping me a text right after the scene telling me that I deserve an Oscar for my performance.

I didn't plan on coming on the internet to brag about destroying a bridal dress and causing a scene at my brother's wedding. But I just received a bottle of red wine from my SIL with a card saying ‘Enjoy the best bottle of wine I could find, for the best wedding gift you could have given us.’”