The year was 1989; the month – December. My mother had bundled me up tightly in winter clothes so as to be sure that Jack Frost would nary consider nipping at my wee nose. We were off, she awash with the hope of lasting memories, and I with all the air of a packing peanut. Our destination? The Mall.
At the Mall we would find a right jolly old elf – a one Saint Nicholas – with whom cherished Christmas memories would be formed. But it would not be easy. The line would stretch for hours, weaving around the eight magic reindeer and winding past the Orange Julius. And yet, at long last, we made it to our rosy cheeked destination.
I was placed on Santa’s lap and the cameras were readied. I gazed up and awoke with a fight. Mall Santas are scary – at least at first sight. The flashes set off, and the picture was taken, but I had been really quite shaken.
Not all Santas fill you with great Christmas cheer, in fact some give you a little to fear.
1. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.
2. I’m not totally convinced this man is alive under there.
3. That child can’t unsee the horror.
4. Michael Myers does Santa Clause.
5. Was this taken on a train?
6. A right jolly old DEMON ELF.
7. “Can we hurry this up? Me and Bobo have to get out of here before our bookie shows up.”
8. “Here, kids, have these….handcuffs.”
9. “You will be visited by three ghosts who will all rob you in the parking lot.”
10. She knows it.
11. “Oh helllluuuuuuu”
12. You have to answer three questions to take pictures with this Santa.
13. “I wear the face of Santa’s past.”
14. The little girl in this picture is actually creepier than Santa Claus.
15. Umm, no thanks.
16. This, I assume, is in Russia.
17. “Hello darkness, my old friend…”
18. Ming the Destroyer of Christmas Cheer.
19. Santa after facial reconstruction surgery.
20. This Santa is just a little too happy to meet the girl from Matilda.
21. The Night of The Living Santas.
22. I can only assume this photo was taken post-mortem.
23. “My lunch is fortified wine in a brown paper bag.”
24. Why is Benecio Del Toro from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas dressed as Santa?
25. “Never forget me, Timmy. Never forget me!”
Now those are some seriously creepy Santas… No wonder so many children need therapy these days.
Share this with your friends and warn them of the evil Santas.