Since its inception, the internet has been the premiere marketplace for all things Weird™. Craigslist, for example, has proven that there are people out there willing to buy and sell just about anything for the right price.
Yet, few online markets are as packed to the gills with odd listings as the Facebook Marketplace. The bizarre site allows people to use their favorite, reliable social media platform as a means to spend and make money from other users.
Make no mistake: there are plenty of people selling perfectly normal things for perfectly reasonable prices on the Facebook Marketplace. But it’s the weird ones that will have you laughing uncontrollably!
1. Wait a second. So this person is offering (roughly) six ounces of water for $56? Putting aside the fact that that is a truly absurd price and an incredibly weird gift, how is he planning on transporting it without a bottle?
2. There’s something unquestionably uncomfortable about the idea of putting living, breathing human beings up for “sale” online, even if it’s clearly a joke. With human trafficking as serious an issue as ever, that’s not something you should be joking about!
3. Ah, the Facebook Marketplace, where for just one dollar, you can buy anything from a “pretty useless” soul to a slice of pizza that would look disgusting anyway even if it wasn’t already missing a bite.
4. “…But it still tastes better than normal Diet Coke.” What exactly makes this particular bottle of Diet Coke different, sir? Is there something in your backwash that enhances the flavor, or did you put something in it?
5. Setting aside that this offer is rather misogynistic, the fact that this person’s girlfriend is four months pregnant raises quite a few questions. For starters, does her boyfriend know he’s a serious jerk? And $100? Really?
6. It’s difficult to say which one is more disturbing: the fact that somebody is selling their (adorable) baby for just $111, or that somebody is selling four handguns for just $20. It’s definitely the baby thing, but the other one is confusing, too.
7. You don’t need to know the current pounds-to-dollars exchange rate to be able to realize that this person is charging far too much for a stained, used plastic cup. He could have at least elaborated more on the cup’s history…
8. So, pet listings sort of make sense, even for the Facebook Marketplace, but it’s odd that the hedgehog saleswoman won’t deliver. Turns out, if you want these hedgehogs, you’d better make your way to Preston, Missouri!
9. Hey, you know what? She seems like a perfectly fine woman who anybody would be lucky to have as their own girlfriend. Besides, what kind of person puts their girlfriend up for sale? What a jerk.
10. Most people probably aren’t entirely sure of what a “pure white bussheart cock” is, but weirdly enough, it actually seems like a bargain. After all, the seller claims that the bird will breed more, so that’s just a good investment.
11. Yes, this person’s description of his hand as being “handy” is a pretty decent pun, but one can’t help but wonder how this transaction is supposed to take place. Was he planning on literally cutting off his own left hand?
12. On the lefthand side, you’ll notice a small child with some luscious locks of hair being sold for the price of $1,234. Is it any stranger, though, that on the right, somebody appears to be selling their entire kitchen?
13. You could be forgiven for taking a few moments to try to make heads or tails out of what it is that’s being sold here, but yes, this woman is actually offering her used menstrual cup. Please form an orderly line, everyone…
14. Marijuana may have been decriminalized in a few places around the United States, but that doesn’t mean that it would necessarily be a great idea to sell it on a forum as public as the Facebook Marketplace. Still, $10 is a pretty good deal.
15. This is probably the worst possible way to show off “this pillow.” If he really wanted to sell it, he could have shown somebody sleeping on it comfortably, or simply left it alone… instead of covering his naked body with it. Actually, this might be the best way to sell this pillow.
Even if some of these offers are complete jokes, it’s still pretty weird that people would think to put such things online. Do you think they had any buyers?
Share this funny stuff with your friends below!